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A college student takes a long anticpated vacation to Scotland. When he gets off the plane, he heads to the nearest local pub in a small town down the road. He sits down at the bar next to a grizzled old man with a sad look on his face and orders himself a pint. After a few minutes, the student leans over, introduces himself, and asks the old man what's made him so upset.

The old man points out the window and replies, in a deep Scotish accent, "Aye lad, you see that long stone wall out there?" The student looks out and sees a long straight stone wall seperating two fields, and nods his head. "Well" says the old man, "I built tha wall forty years ago with me own two hands. And in all those years, nary a single stone has fallen from the wall." The student is impressed and says that it does indeed look like a fine wall, to which the old man replies, "Aye, but do they call me McGregor the Wall Builder? No, no they don't." The two men shake their heads and return to their pints.

A few minutes later, the old man leans over again points out the opposite window and says "Aye lad, you see those houses out there?" The student looks out and sees a a small group of houses, all with thatched rooves, and nods his head. "Well" says the old man, "I thatched those rooves twenty years ago with me own two hands. And in all those years, nary a single drop of water has has leaked into those houses." The student is very impressed and says that they do indeed look like fine rooves, to which the old man replies, "Aye, but do they call me McGregor the Roof Thatcher? No, no they don't." Again, the two men shake their heads and return to their pints.

After a few minutes and a pair of fresh pints later, the old man leans over one more time and says "Aye lad, you know that five years ago the local school house caught fire and I ran in and saved nearly fifteen children?" The student is amazed that such an old man could accomplish such an impressive feet. "Well" says the old man, "I carried those children out to safety with me own two hands. And in the last five years nary a one of them has suffered from any ill effects from the fire" The student is very impressed and says that the old man must be something of a local hero with all the accomplishments he's racked up over the years, to which the old man replies, "Aye, but do they call me McGregor the Child Rescuer? No, no they don't." One more time, the two men shake their heads and return to their pints.

A minute later, the old man leans over and whispers, " Aye lad, but you fuck one goat...."